I-G-L

I have crafted a new acronym.

I-G-L.

Inappropriate Grandma Language.

That's right folks, you heard it here first.

I-G-L.

Well, it's breakfast time in the Ruffian household, I had just finished making bitchin' french toast for my Aunt Susan, (who I was surprised to learn is technologically saavy enough to read my blog but unskilled enough to not be able to find the comments section), when talk turns how we all slept last night.

I'm sure all of your families have had similar moments.

Now before I tell the story, I am declaring an injunction that must be strictly adhered to.

I'm looking at you Hek.

The injunction is as follows: No one is to make inappropriate or uncomfortable comments regarding an I-G-L. They are only told. They are not expanded or elaborated on. That's it.

So in regards to that, anyone who violates this injunction understands that it will result in punitive measures against their species, and perhaps their homeworld. I'm from the year 3000, I can make it happen!

Anyways, on with the story.

So my Grannie Ruth, she's talking about the ol' waterbed we have. Now, no one but guests use the waterbed anymore because it was actually discovered that if you use it everyday, you'll actually get MORE backpain, or so my Mom tells me. But for overnight, or a few days, it's alright. The ol' waterbed has a control that makes the bed um... jiggle in such a way as to make it more relaxing. In other words, the bed has a "vibrator".

Guess what happens next.

Now, this is probably out of her lexicon (perhaps even out of my parents, but I doubt that), my Gran was just using the word vibrator left, right and centre. It was all I could do not to laugh out loud/cover my ears and bewail my fate. I can't remember specific sentences and perhaps that's a blessing, but I'll tell you one thing; Gran loves the vibrator.

*shudders*

So that's the I-G-L, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

More news to come, check back for updates.